


To Disappear

by BorkMork



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gonna hurt my boy again MMMMMHMMM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BorkMork/pseuds/BorkMork
Summary: It was 12 a.m. The beach house was silent, windows clamped shut for the night’s cold draft, and Steven Universe was packing.Packing for where? He wouldn’t say, because why have a destination in mind as long as it’s far, far away?A drabble based on this post: https://fermented-writers-block.tumblr.com/post/189547896178/the-significance-of-sufs-title-cards
Comments: 13
Kudos: 73





	To Disappear

It was 12 a.m. The beach house was silent, windows clamped shut for the night’s cold draft, and Steven Universe was packing.

Packing for where? He wouldn’t say, because why have a destination in mind as long as it’s far, far away?

His figure was huddled to his drawers, fingers deft at plucking out the shirts and jeans from their once-clean stacks. His eyes would gaze out now and then to the glass doors, the somber-lit sea looking of perfection, the murk of his room allowing it to glaze him with filtered moonlight.

If he could clean up everything. Make it pristine, spotless, just like Pearl always taught him to do, then there wouldn’t be signs of a scuffle or interruption to be seen. It would just be like he tidied up his bedroom and he was out and about somewhere. They wouldn’t know what he would be doing, but they’d reason he was just exploring the nearby forests or have been doing his recent early morning jogs; not that he was taking everything—his identity, his presence, his signs of living among them—and cramming it into the confines of a garbage bag, ignition heavy in his jean pocket.

His reasons felt clear to him. His skin was flickering pink, fingers twitching and quivering under pressure as he dumped water bottles, granola bars, previously bought grocery bags, and everything in-between into the massive sack on his bed.

The sea was watching him now. Its tranquil waves crashing in calming rolls. Steven tried not to stare, swallowing the lump in his throat before it could utter a cry. He was still flickering pink, trying to lug his bag on his shoulder with careful steps as he moved himself to the doors.

Sliding them open, he placed his baggage onto the balcony, then closing them again with a quiet click. Steven took a deep breath and looked down from the overhang: the moon was out in full display, luminescence mingling with his rose-colored hues; the world looking peaceful from where he stood, his body just a small speck in a massive ocean, waiting for nothing but another step—another step to the dondai that’s parked out in front.

He leapt off the balcony. Soft, deathly quiet, he landed without a peep. The waves were of a lullaby, a nostalgic thing that he pulled away from, staring only at the dondai as he trudged closer—bag dragging behind.

_Just.._. _don’t look back. It’ll make things easier._

His backdoor opened, forcing him to push the contents into the passenger seats, shaking all the while.

_Don’t look at the waves. Don’t look at the house. Just get in the car._

No trace, he reminded himself. He shifted the tiny trenches his garbage bag made in the sand, sweeping the evidence like a Grim Reaper to the passage of time. The pressure was building in his chest. He wouldn’t be able to breathe if it weren’t for his will pushing the claustrophobia down. But any minute now, he could unravel, come undone.

_Don’t look at the way the clouds part and float. How you and Connie would sing to them as they passed by without a care in the world._

He sat in the driver’s seat, the radio dead, the lights dimmed to spectral gleam. The engine started, Steven reminding himself to buy more gas cans for the trunk when he gets out of the city’s limits. He’ll need a lot of them.

_Don’t look at the temple. Don’t look at the buildings next to the shore. Don’t think of the people you’ll leave behind. Don't think of the pain at their realization that you'll never come back._

The dondai was haunted in soft pink, his fingers twitching even more. Yet even with this hesitation, his foot pressed on the pedal.

_Just drive._

The roads were long and winding. Instead of his normal direction—towards the bright sleepy atmosphere of Beach City and Little Homeworld—he went the opposite, driving down the familiar lanes he knew lead to the outskirts of the town, eyes morphed in flinching pain.

He had to keep his powers all under control for just a few hours. As long as he’s going somewhere, anywhere, that isn’t plagued with the memories of his laughter, childhood, and growing disappointment, then he’ll be fine. His family, in particular, will be fine.

But the rear-view mirror kept him tense. Through the odd-colored reflection, his home stared back at him, appearing to beckon him with just a single glance. It didn’t help that the picture of Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst, was on his car visor, smiling at him like he was there. That he would be there with them with no doubt in their minds.

He ripped it off and crammed it into the glove compartment. It was gone. It wasn’t there anymore.

There was a reason he was driving away. Well, there were multiple reasons, but the buzz of his chest wouldn’t stop hurting at the idea of them, keeping him to breathe through his nose in harsh wheezes as he kept driving. The main reason was clear to him because family was important; without family, there wouldn’t be a clear objective for him to be here in the first place—which made his vision blur with tears.

And Steven Universe knew that his purpose was running out, that people were running ahead while he shambled in the dust like an old toy. So, to him, this was his final job. To remove the final problem. To remove the final obstacle that would lead all of them to a bright future.

Because if he just disappeared…then his family wouldn’t have to worry anymore.


End file.
